delay

While thinking a little more deeply about my life…peeling back the layers, I wonder how much I have missed, taken for granted, or not even noticed at all.

Routines and habits set in and become stiff and cemented…ways of perceiving life get skewed and fragmented. I need to get my work done, to get through the day, get to the end of it so I can relax. The mentality is survival…which leads to hurrying through everything. The result is you miss most of it. I think to myself, “When this is over, I can…”

Delay shows itself this way: I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL…

I am in high school,

I turn 16 and can drive,

I get to college and have freedom,

I turn 21 and can drink cold beer,

I get this degree finished so I can be a real adult,

I get a job and make money,

I get a better job so I can…

I get married so I can experience “true love”,

I have kids, so I can have help with chores around the house—ha-ha,

I have this house because home is where the heart is,

My kids are out of diapers and not so dependent so I can sleep through the night,

My kids are out of the house so I can relax,

I retire when I’ll finally have time to chase that dream or refine and use that God-given gift, I have delayed using for the last 40 years.

There will always be a next thing. I hurry through what I am doing now because for some reason I’m bought into the idea that whatever is next is somehow better.

Yet when I get there, I realize it is not the product I saw in the commercial. That juicy, delicious cheeseburger on TV never looks like that when you go and buy one. The person making it looks like they just woke up from sleeping under a bridge, the meat is smaller—not as juicy. The cheese isn’t melted. They forgot to put ketchup on it.

So, I begin thinking about getting on to the next thing. There is and will always be a next thing. The result of this way of thinking is that the present moment is wasted, looked over, or not even noticed at all.

Live in the here and now.