ericfaisonstory

On the shore of the Sea of Galilee, two brothers bumped into Jesus one day. When Jesus began to walk on, they followed him. Jesus noticed them following, turned to them, and asked them a simple question. The question opens the conversation up to shallowness and at the same time has the chance to cut deep into the depths of who we are.

“What do you want?” It can also be translated, “What are you seeking?”

It’s a question Jesus is also asking to you and I.

He is asking: “What are you looking for? What is it you most deeply desire? What are you chasing after?”

If you wanted to know what I am about, what I want, or what I am seeking after, then I probably wouldn’t ask me. If I don’t trust you, or if I am hesitant to be authentic, or simply don’t feel like answering, I can and may dodge the question. I may lie to you. I may dress it up to look better than it is. I may give you what I HOPE or DESIRE my life to be about.

Now, if you want to know what I am REALLY about, what I am SEEKING after—what I WANT, you need to go ask someone closest to me. Ask my wife, ask my kids,  ask my best friend, ask someone I work closely with, etc. They are more likely to give you an honest truthful answer.

I remember a family camp I went to about 15 years ago. They had the younger kids in one room and then had the fathers in another room. In the room with the fathers, the speaker talked to them about the purpose of their lives; what they are chasing after. The fathers gave various noble answers of what they, in their minds, thought they were about. In the room with the children, they asked them, “What would you say is the purpose of your daddy’s life? What is the reason they are alive?” You know what many of the children said? They said the purpose of their daddy’s life is “to work” or “to make money.” None of the fathers answered the same question this way.

Maybe it would be good for us to regularly take some time and reflect on what we want to be true about our life. What do you want to be about? What are your deepest desires for your life? Whatever is most important to you will get your time. It doesn’t matter what you SAY is most important or what your INTENTIONS are. The truth of it is where you spend your time and what consumes your emotional and mental energy is what most accurately reflects what is most important to you.

Annie Dillard wrote, ““How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing.”

What you did today, yesterday, last week… is the evidence of how you are spending your life, what you are chasing after, and what you want. Does it match with what you WANT to be true about who you are and what you want your life to be about?

“Show me your treasure, and I’ll show you where your heart is.” —Jesus (Matthew 6.21)

I have begun to think more deeply about my life. As I look back over previous years, I think I have taken too much for granted. I have often missed it (it-meaning a deeper life) because I spent my time doing what others expected me to do. I wasn’t being truly who I was because I became the person others wanted me to be. And I get it. It’s on me. No one was forcing me to do or be any of that.

Other times I missed it because I became too task oriented. Waking up and attacking the list of priorities that, as we all know, is endless and is never really done. When this happens people become interruptions and divine appointments become distractions from the “stuff I gotta do.”

Hurry keeps me from missing the deeper life as well. In Proverbs it says that people who hurry miss the way. I want to find ways to go slower, do fewer things and do them well. When I go slower I notice more and recognize divine, Jesus-led, encounters and opportunities.

I find when I live slower I have more time for people. This leads to deeper, meaningful conversations. And I realize if I do live a less hurried life that there are going to be things on my to-do list left undone…and that is gonna have to be OK.

So, I want to write about living life more deeply; about living life with both Jesus and others with more intentionality taking advantage of the gift of days.

I am writing on this blog so that we might begin to recognize the presence of Jesus in our lives. I want to create some space so that we may be able to begin to look, notice, and see Jesus. I want us to be able to hear and become more familiar with his voice.

Secondly, I want to point us to a deeper life with others and towards true and authentic companionships. This intimate life with others can only come out of a love for Jesus. We cannot truly love others (or ourselves) unless we have a deep love for Jesus. Out of our love for Jesus comes a willingness to love and be loved, to know and to be known.

The summer I turned forty shook me up a bit. It may be due to idea that I always assumed I was invincible. My death and the end of my life was rarely a thought that took up much space in my mind. To me, at the time, life was long, and to think about my life having an end was inconceivable. Being forty brought this inevitable reality closer to home.

I guess you could say that I’m about halfway done with it, if graciously God allows me to live the average lifespan for a guy. It must be what all the old people used to talk about when they mentioned a mid-life crisis. From what I know of a mid-life crisis, it’s probably the only time I can quit my job, buy a convertible or motorcycle, get a tattoo and get away with it. They’ll say, “Oh, he’s just going through the mid-life crisis, we just have to let him get through it.”

As a result of this new awareness, all the things I previously thought about life and death needed to be rethought.

Why do I think the way I do? Why do I believe what I believe? The things I hold to being true, am I absolutely sure and convinced that they are? Is the way I am living my life matter or is it making a difference?

I have always had this fear that I end up being the guy in the evening of his life sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair, wondering where all the time went and wondering how it went by so fast…realizing that he had wasted his whole life chasing selfish dreams and pursuits and never really did anything that I was actually supposed to have done. Or that I either didn’t become aware of my unique gifts or if I did, I was too fearful to use them. As a result I went and buried them under a rock rather than giving them away and allowing God to use them in the lives of others.

Are you aware of that one unique gift God has given you?  The one He wired you to use to point people to Jesus or use to love others in the name of the Christ?

Are you using them NOW? You’re life is meant to be lived now… your life doesn’t start when you feel competent or adequate enough, graduate from college, get that job, get married, have enough time or money, or…. you get the point. You’re life is going on right now. Go live it. 

If you are aware of your unique giftedness, are you using it? How? Or Why not?

If you recognize unique gifts in others, do you tell them so that they might have the courage to use it? Try it and see what happens?

So much of our view of life, God, others, ourselves…is determined by HOW you see. WHAT you see is a result of HOW you see. “The man said, ‘Everything is blurry…the people look like trees walking around.’ Then Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes…and he saw everything clearly.”

There is a verse tucked away in Luke’s account of Jesus’ life that you’ll miss if you aren’t looking closely enough. The verse is sandwiched between two dramatic, action-filled events. In the first, Jesus meets a man possessed with an evil spirit. In the second, he is tracked down by a desperate father pleading with him to come and heal his dying daughter.

There is nothing necessarily spectacular or impressive about this verse. It is not the foundational structure for any great theological doctrine, though I think it should be. It is a simple grouping of words that God has used to cause massive change in my life. Since I’ve noticed it, I find that I can no longer skip over it or sneak by without a confrontation. It has become the elephant in the room.

“Now when Jesus returned, a crowd welcomed him, for they were all waiting for him.”

Some translate the word waiting as expecting. The people were expecting Jesus; they were waiting for Jesus. Somehow they got word that Jesus was on the other side of the lake; that Jesus was heading their way. As a result, a crowd gathered; and they waited. A crowd always seemed to gather around Jesus. Read through the gospels and mark every place you see the word crowd and take notice of it.

Rumors of Jesus showing up often sent people running. People either ran to Jesus or away from him. Two reactions usually happened around Jesus. They were either amazed or they were angry. Broken people ran to him. The self-righteous, religious people usually had the hardest time with his presence and they tended to run away from him. They didn’t exactly know what to do about it. At one point, they decided they must get rid of him, because they said, “Look! Everyone is running after him. If we let him go on like this, the whole world will believe in him.” And at that point, John writes that they made a decision to get rid of him.

Nevertheless, here, on the edge of the water, a crowd had gathered. There were always crowds around Jesus. Jesus was the Master of living life. Nobody lived life like Jesus did. In him was life. So naturally, since people are wired for life and are seeking it, they were drawn to Jesus. Life—-real, true, and full life is what we want. It can only be found in Jesus; nothing else.

The crowd was waiting for the arrival of Jesus. They were simply looking and they were waiting. They were attentive and they were consumed with an undivided focus. So, when Jesus arrived, they were there to receive him.

This act of waiting and looking is a simple act. Passive. Not much was accomplished, in fact it seemed like a group of people just hanging out, sitting around doing nothing. But perhaps what they were doing was and is most important. Perhaps they were doing what mattered most. What do you think?

That’s what I want to be about. I want to be a person who is constantly on the look-out for Jesus. I want to see with new eyes. To do so I think I must stop skimming surfaces and filling my life with trivialities and relentlessly pursue a life that is lived slowly and unhurried; one that contains depth.

And I think the world needs this; the world needs people who are deeply acquainted with Jesus. I have a hunch that those are the people who help us see and hear.

In order to walk closely with Jesus I must make it a habit of looking for him, knowing where he is, and being aware of his movements. Paying attention allows me to see and hear more clearly. I must use every option I have to remove unnecessary distractions which keep the scales on my eyes. I must grow to the place where I am able to fix my eyes on only Jesus.

I spoke to group of nearly one hundred college students who were packed inside a living room. The topic that had come up was why God, at times, seems to be so distant and why it can be so hard to hear him. To make a point, I asked everyone in the room to start talking out loud to one another. Then I begin to speak the words,

“I love you. Come to me and I will give you rest for your souls. If you are thirsty, come to me and drink. I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly. Let me speak words of truth to you. Let me tell you how beautiful, unique, and wonderfully made you are. I long for your companionship. You are mine. I have deep affection for you. I have given you a name: ‘Beloved’.”

After getting everyone to calm down and refocus, I asked if anyone could repeat the words I said. Not one single person could repeat even one word.

And so it is too often similar with our companionship with Jesus. He continues to speak, yet I too often find myself too preoccupied, distracted, and drowning in noise and activity to be in a place to hear anything he has to say.

There are even times I am busy with things done in the name of Christianity and I am not in a place to be able to hear him. Ministry, if that is my primary focus, can distract me from Jesus too. Jesus must be the focus. Ministry is a natural reaction or overflow from a deep love for Jesus. It’s not the primary target.

Am I in a position to hear him?

Am I listening?

Am I paying attention?

 

I was in Montana this summer in some of the most beautiful places I had ever been in my life. Every view stopped me in my tracks and I often would find myself just standing there looking and being completely astonished at what I was seeing.

I met a guy who moved there from Arizona.  I asked him, “How long did it take you living here before you were no longer in awe of what you saw? How long did it take before you stopped noticing the mountains?”

Jesus answered, “Don’t you know me Philip, even after I have been with you such a long time?” John14.9

Philip, don’t you recognize  love when you see it? Have you become so familiar with me that you no longer see me…that you no longer notice me at all?

I didn’t think it was possible to be around someone so much and still not know them.  How can someone spend three years of intimate companionship with Jesus and still miss it?  Yet this was the case with Philip.  He had been among the twelve disciples. Jesus handpicked him.  Still there was a disconnect between Philip and Jesus.

There can be a tremendous difference between being around Jesus and knowing Jesus. 

There can be a tremendous difference between being involved in and busy with Christian ministry and knowing Jesus.

Somewhere along the way, Philip’s idea of Jesus was different than who he actually was. And right here, days before Jesus was to be crucified, Philip becomes acutely aware that he didn’t know Jesus at all.

Perhaps he once knew Jesus intimately; in the beginning when it was fresh and new and everything was exciting and the routine was unpredictable. Then, as time went by, it became routine. The miracles were no longer astonishing. The words Jesus spoke no longer captured every ounce of attention. Everything just became day to day. 

“If anyone grows tired, burned out, or bored with Christianity, it is because they have become preoccupied and interested in something else in the Christian faith other than Jesus Christ.” (Richard Halverson)

Think on these questions:

Is there anything that has caused you to take your attention and focus off of Jesus?

Are you more interested in doing things for Jesus than talking to Jesus?

Can you recall the most recent time you had an acute awareness of the nearness and presence of Jesus?

How is your companionship with Jesus different than it was a year (or five years) ago?

 

**By the way. The old guy from Arizona replied, “ Oh, my friend. I still see them.  I make it a point every day to stop and take it in. It’s wonderful, isn’t it?”

(Excerpt from Dangerous Wonder by Mike Yaconelli)

Episcopal priest Robert Capo named the first obstacle: “We are in a war between dullness and astonishment.” The most critical issue facing Christians is not abortion, pornography, the disintegration of the family, moral absolutes, MTV, drugs, racism, sexuality, or school prayer. The critical issue today is dullness. We have lost our astonishment. The Good News is no longer good news, it is okay news. Christianity is no longer life changing, it is life enhancing. Jesus doesn’t change people into wild-eyed radicals anymore, He changes them into “nice people.”

If Christianity is simply about being nice, I’m not interested.

What happened to radical Christianity, the un-nice brand of Christianity that turned the world upside-down? What happened to the category-smashing, life-threatening, anti-institutional gospel that spread through the first century like wildfire and was considered (by those in power) dangerous? What happened to the kind of Christians whose hearts were on fire, who had no fear, who spoke the truth no matter what the consequence, who made the world uncomfortable, who were willing to follow Jesus wherever He went? What happened to the kind of Christians who were filled with passion and gratitude, and who every day were unable to get over the grace of God?

I’m ready for a Christianity that “ruins” my life, that captures my heart and makes me uncomfortable. I want to be filled with an astonishment which is so captivating that I am considered wild and unpredictable and …well…dangerous. Yes, I want to be “dangerous” to a dull and boring religion. I want a faith that is considered “dangerous” by our predictable and monotonous culture.

A.W. Tozer said a long time ago, “Culture is putting out the light in men and women’s souls.” He was right. Dullness is more than a religious issue, it is a cultural issue. Our entire culture has become dull. Dullness is the absence of the light of our souls. Look around. We have lost the sparkle in our eyes, the passion in our marriages, the meaning in our work, the joy in our faith.

The Bible names our problem: sin. Don’t let the word fool you. Sin is more than turning our backs on God, it is turning our backs on life! Immorality is much more than adultery and dishonesty it is living drab, colorless, dreary, stale, unimaginative lives. The greatest enemy of Christianity may be people who say they believe in Jesus but who are no longer astonished and amazed. Jesus Christ came to rescue us from listlessness as well as lostness; He came to save us from flat souls as well as corrupted souls. He came to save us from dullness. Our culture is awash in immorality and drowning in dullness. We have forgotten how to dance, how to sing, how to laugh. We have allowed technology to beat our imaginations into submission and have become tourists rather than travelers. Television dominates our time, alters our values, numbs us to life in all of its wildness. We have been stunted by mediocrity.